"Hate" is such a strong word, but...

This post may be a bit of rant. It may seem out of character, and it may seem childish and inconsiderate. Some might say, "but you don't really KNOW these people, how can you talk about them this way?" I don't really care. I'm a pretty easygoing guy, and pretty adept at finding the good in people and liking them for that goodness. But boy, there are just a few guys that I CANNOT STAND. They pull me chain, they rub me the wrong way, they bug the crap out of me, whatever you want to call it. I simply do not like them. Interestingly, they're all defensemen, just like me.

I know you've waited a long time for this, so here it is, my top 3 least favorite players in the NHL:

#3: Chris-Waste-Of-Pure-Hockey-Talent-Pronger

Physically, Chris Pronger is everything you want in a hockey player, especially a defenseman. He's huge (6'6, 214 lbs) and hits like Warren Sapp on speed. His size also lends to a good skating ability; he's not the smoothest skater, but that huge, Clydesdale stride helps him cover a lot of space in a short amount of time. He's also extremely gifted offensively with a booming shot. During the power play, it's common to see him alone at the top of the blueline, mid-ice, just waiting for that one-timer. Apparently, he's also a good leader, having been a captain or alternate captain on every team he's played for (St. Louis captain, Edmonton alternate, Anaheim captain/alternate). So why am I hating on him? Because he wastes every bit of talent he has by playing sloppy and dirty. He hooks, he carves, he punches, and evidenced by last year's little incident, he steps on other players... remembering that when hockey players step on someone, they have a BLADE on the bottom of their foot! He's been suspended a whopping eight times in his career. EIGHT. Every time he says he's sorry, that he's "not that type of player"... Well Chris, you obviously are if you've been suspended that many times. The biggest thing for me I guess is the disappointment, he's an incredibly gifted player who just wastes all that talent on cheap shots and consistently dirty play. Like I said in a past entry about Pronger, he's like the really smart kid in school who cheats just because he knows he can get away with it. It's too bad.

#2: Scott-Rules-Don't-Apply-To-Me-Stevens

Scott Stevens might just be the dirtiest player I have ever watched play hockey. And he does it all under the guise of this blue-collar, silent type. Sorry Mr. Stevens, not fooling me. It's one thing to play hockey, it's another thing to play dirty. Scott Stevens was a good hockey player when he wanted to be, but he was dirty. Consistently. Most point to his hit on Paul Kariya in the Stanley Cup Finals. I'm still a little unsure about that one... for me it's all the little things he did on a consistent basis to get his way no matter what. Hockey is a game. It's not a war, it's not Ultimate Fighting, as much as people want it to be. The game has rules which makes it more enjoyable. Rules never applied to Scott Stevens apparently. Never. My favorite moments were in the 2001 Stanley Cup Finals. First, Scott Stevens tries to go in to the boards with the smaller Joe Sakic (my favorite player all-time). Sakic lowers his shoulder and BOOM, knocks Stevens over! The look on Stevens face as he lay on the ice was probably a lot like Goliath's when David nailed him. Then what happens, in Game 7 Sakic has the puck right in front of Stevens... He jukes one way, jukes the other, then puts a shot right through Steven's legs and into the net. Pure beauty. Pure karma.

#1: Chris-You-Are-Everything-Bad-About-This-Sport-Chelios

Sure he's the oldest player in the league, and sure he's been around the block a few times. I don't care. Chris Chelios, while not being quite as dirty as Pronger or Stevens, is ten times the whiner of any player in the league. This guy whines as much as most people talk in a given day. It's just constant jabbering at the officials or other players. When he's not on the ice, he's whining about how he's not getting enough playing time. Hello?! You're 46 years old, Chris! There's a reason you're not playing that much: You're not as good as the other defensemen on the team. Chris is lucky the Wings have kept him around this long, because judging by his play, particularly in last year's playoffs, he definitely doesn't have what it takes to continue to be a full-time player in the NHL. In last season's Conference Finals, I swear I saw just about every member of the Dallas Stars skate around Chelios. And where was he during the Cup Finals? Oh yeah, didn't play. Then, who's the third player to hoist the Cup after the Wings won it last year? Yep, Chelios. The guy who didn't even PLAY in the Finals gets the Cup ahead of heroes like Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Rafalski and Osgood who did all the work. Sure, he wants to chase his dream of playing until he's 50 million years old, but does he really want to do that at the expense of his team? Stop whining Chris. You're the oldest, most experienced player in the league, the NHL's elder statesman. Act like it.

Disclaimer: I am a pretty loving person. Really.

Captain Canuck...Welcome, Mr. Luongo

In an unprecedented move, the Vancouver Canucks named Roberto Luongo their captain. Some people certainly don't like it, and it's technically against league rules, but I think it's freaking brilliant.

Luongo is by far the team's best player and a natural choice for leader. As I've thought about who on the Canucks roster could be the captain that could really take the team on his shoulders and carry them to new heights, I was drawing a black-hole sized blank. Like no body came to mind. Ryan Kesler is an answer, but not for another couple years. Luongo is by far the best choice.

Luongo's captaincy rubs against the grain slightly. NHL rule book rule 6.1 says: "No playing coach or playing manager or goalkeeper shall be permitted to act as captain or alternate captain." The underlying reason is they don't want the goalie constantly leaving the crease to talk to the officials, stuff like that. The Canucks work around this by letting Luongo serve as captain more in the spirit of the law rather than the letter. He will serve as the undisputed leader of the team, but will not officially wear a "C". The Canucks will compensate for this by having three alternate captains: Ryan Kesler, Willie Mitchell, and Mattias Ohlund.

A great move by the Canucks. Kesler, Mitchell and Ohlund can more than handle on-ice issues and Luongo can serve as the type of leader the Canucks need. He gives 100% every night, and his quiet but diligent example should really help the young, thin Canucks team who will need more than a little inspiration just to be competitive each night.

I know Luongo's probably the last guy on the planet who cares about this, but why not let goalies where the "C"? Not wanting them to cause additional time-outs to come talk to the refs is a stupid reason. Just let them wear it if they are the leaders of the team. Why not?

And... Why I Will Suck

Returning to my Fantasy team, I promised to inform you a little of why my team will suck. As I look at it more and more, it really is a toss up with a lot of these guys. If they play bad, I'm in a trouble, but if they play up to their ability I'll do great. These are them:

Mike Cammalleri: Did well in LA... And if you can do well in LA, you should be able to do well anywhere, right? We'll see.

Cynical me says: His pint-sized stature may open himself up to injuries and he may not be able to handle the pressure of being a first-liner in a big hockey venue like Calgary

Optimistic me says: He's quickly establishing himself as a star in the league who should benefit nicely from playing as Jarome Iginla's pivot.

Petr Sykora: I'm actually feeling pretty good about Sykora, who had a decent year last year.

Cynical me: Another little guy who could get hurt. His play has been inconsistent throughout his career.

Optimistic me: He plays with freaking Sydney Crosby!!!

Vaclav Prospal: You know, I have no idea why I didn't put this guy under the guys I like. I LOVE Vinny Prospal. Always puts up points, always performs. I have no worries about Prospal. I think he'll go right back to playing with Vinny Lecavlier and Martin St. Louis on the first line. I'm predicting at least 80 points for this guy.

Dustin Penner:

Cynical me: Has never really played to his potential. Will anything change this year?

Optimistic: Has a world of potential, is huge, and has good hands. He's due for a breakout year, and this could be it. I probably hold on to him for a couple weeks just to see how he pans out.

Jack Johnson:

Cynical me: Like his musical namesake, Johnson is kind of iffy with me. He played ok during his first full season, which may have been a bit premature had it not been for L.A.'s need for any type of talent. Is he truly ready for the NHL, and does he have the mental maturity to live up to the hype that has been built up around him

Optimistic me: 'Yes' to the above questions. Johnson is the next Niklas Lidstrom and will have an incredible year turning around the Kings' defensive corps.

Mike Knuble:

Cynical: Getting old, injury prone

Optimisitc: Still has a great shot and good hockey sense, coupled with having players like Simon Gagne and Daniel Briere to feed him the puck. Can still play. Like Penner, I'll give him a couple weeks before possibly dropping him.

Steve Stamkos:

With all the hype built up around this guy, how could I not pick him up? I did the same thing with Patrick Kane last year and it worked out nicely, so I'm hoping the risk pays off. With the offense Tampa Bay picked up this summer, Stamkos is surrounded by plenty of talent and should have a good year. Plus, with Lecavalier centering the first line, Stamkos will not have the pressure of being the go-to-guy in his first season. I think he'll do great.

Fantasy Hockey: Why My Team Will Rock...And Why It Will Bite the Dust...

It's that time of year: It's like Christmas everytime I log onto Yahoo Sports to find that my team is ready. This year I started my own league, and because I couldn't find a time for the other 11 managers to do a live draft, I did one of those automated draft where you rank your favorite players and the computer picks your team based on your rankings. Sometimes you get the guys you want, and sometimes you get stuck with sloppy seconds. Here are the winners and losers on my team. The reasons why I will rock this year, and the reasons why I'll be sending out a lot of trade requests...

The Winners

1. Henrik Lundqvist- This guy should do me some good, even though he plays on a team that is just decent. Last season was one of his best, with a 2.23 GAA and a very respectable .912 save percentage. The thing I like about Lundqvist is that he improves every year. For the past couple
seasons he's been right in the middle of the Vezina race (even though he won't win as there's a certain Brodeur still lacing up skates), and he should get me some wins.

2. Hooray for Defense!!!!!!!! - Now I'm the first to admit that defense won't take you too far in fantasy hockey. It's more like Robin to Batman or the rest of U2 to Bono and The Edge: They help out, but they're definitely not carrying that big a load on their shoulders. The defense I was blessed with, however, is nothing short of a miracle. Check it out my top 4:

1. Niklas Lidstrom - Det. (60 Assists, +40)
2. Mike Green - Was. (18 G, 38 A)
3. Duncan Keith - Chi. (+30 on a team that didn't qualify for playoffs)
4. Brent Seabrook - Chi. (not the best, but dependable)

Not too shabby. I should see a lot of powerplay points come from the likes of Green, and my +/- should stay respectable with Lidstrom and Keith in the lineup. Lidstrom just never stops. Despite his age, he just isn't trending down like he should for a guy who's pushing 40. My other 3 d-men are all on a fast climb to stardom. Mike Green led all defensemen in PPGs last season, and should only get better playing on a young, run and gun team like Washington. Same for Keith and Seabrook, who will only get better as they mesh with fellow youngsters Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, and the other New Kids on the Hawks (OK, that was bad).

3. Centers - Joe Sakic and Anze Kopitar. Sakic's body is finally starting to feel the effect of giving 100% for almost two decades, but he's still an effective player who should benefit from playing a whole year with the likes of Ryan Smyth and Marek Svatos. I bet we'll see him return to his 30 goal form. I project about an 80-point year from my favorite player. Kopitar, for his part, has everything a hockey player needs: Skill, size, speed, and a good attitude. Expect a breakout year from him in terms of points. The only thing that worries me is his +/-. How could you possibly remain a plus playing for the Kings? We'll get back to LA in a bit here.

4. Ales Hemsky - Have you ever watched this man play hockey? Holy crap he's good. Like, spill the soda all over the carpet good! I dig this guy! Something can be said for his unselfish personality... He seems to insist on passing up the shot to dish to a teammate... Bless his heart. If I could just get Hemsky to shoot more, I'd win this fantasy league right now. I'm expecting big things from him, especially if he can use those nifty puckhandling skills and LSD-like speed to create room for guys like Erik Cole to put the puck in the net. He should be a great asset. And that missing tooth... He should earn fantasy points just for that!



I'm going to have to get back to this later... check in soon for my Fantasy Maybes and all-out fantasy losers...

McCarty Re-Ups With Wings

The Red Wings announced Wednesday that tough guy/fan favorite Darren McCarty signed a one-year deal with the team. This after rejoining the Wings for the final three games of the 2008 regular season and the playoffs.

What a looker... First of all, let me say this: I am not now, nor will I EVER be, a fan of the Detroit Red Wings. One look at this site should tell you why. Any fan of the Avalanche has a deep hatred for the Wings burning in his very soul. But boy, McCarty's story pulls my heart strings. McCarty was never a superstar but always a reliable player who played a gutsy game and also contributed offensively. He was good enough to land a pretty lucrative contract with the Calgary Flames, and that's when his career basically went the way of the buffalo. Drugs and alcohol became McCarty's own worst enemy, and he soon found himself without a job and without much of a life. Then, after a year or two off, he's back. McCarty took the long road back, earning roster spots in Detroit's minor league system before getting the call to rejoin the big boys. Kris Draper of the Wings said he'd never seen McCarty more motivated in his life to get into hockey shape and be an effective player. Let's hope he keeps this up, because this is a great story. All our best to McCarty. This one's for you, Derek.

Flyers Name Richards Captain

The Philadelphia Flyers have announced that (big surprise) Mike Richards will be the team's next captain. Kimmo Timmonen (a captain in Nashville) and Simon Gagne will both wear the "A".

Great move by the Flyers. Not only is Richards really coming into his own as a player (75 points in 73 games last season), he's also just the type of leader the Flyers are looking for. He has the Philadelphia mentality, that toughness that players and fans will respect. And at 23 years-old and with a 12-year contract tucked away, Richards looks to cement himself as the next Flyers legend. There's something special about this guy.

As a side note, I like the Flyers picking Timonen as an alternate. He was a great captain for the Preds and is by far the best D-man the Flyers have. If Gagne plays more than five games this season, he should also make an impact as a leader.

More Captains...Why not?

It's pretty late in the evening and I know I haven't written anything in a while. So, as the good reverend says, just write about hockey captains. I know of no reverend that has ever said such a thing. But I said it anyways. So, put some Rocket Summer onto your convenient playlist located at the right of this entry, and let's begin... again...

NEW YORK ISLANDERS
Current captain: Bill Guerin. The 38-year-old just finished his first season as an Islander, and first as a captain. Two words: Poor. Guy. A gutsy player who has sacrificed a lot in terms of functioning body parts over the course of his career, Guerin was called upon to right a sinking ship that just has one too many holes. Theme song of the Islanders: "Slow Dancing In a Burning Room" by His Greatness John Mayer: "We're going down/And I can see it too/We're going down/ And I know that we're doomed." Hmmm, am I making myself clear? The. Islanders. Suck. I do like Guerin, however. If there's any man that can do the job of leading this hardworking yet short-of-talent team, it's a guy like Guerin. You almost feel bad for the guy. He finally gets a chance to captain his team at the twilight of his career, and it's a team like this. My prayers go out to such a brave warrior.
Future? Who knows? Kyle Okoposo has been deemed the future of the franchise, and indeed, he wasn't half bad during the handful of games he played with the Islanders. Look to the Isles to hold on to him like they did Rick DiPietro, and he should emerge into the staple of the franchise and their natural leader.

NEW YORK RANGERS
Jaromir Jagr left the Rangers in the offseason to finish his career in sunny Russia, leaving the Rangers without a captain. Luckily, the Rangers have the epitome of a leader on their roster already: Chris Drury. If there is a guy who you want to show your team what true determination, competitiveness, skill and sacrifice is, look no further than Chris Drury. You never see this guy take a night off. He's the quiet and reserved type, which lends a type of mystique about him reminiscent of the Sakics and Lidstroms. Chris Drury is like the trusted war horse. Long gone are his split the D, triple dekeing, high-flying days with the Avalanche. But the guy still puts up good numbers, and is a darn good example of what it takes to be a champion. Maybe that was helped along by having a locker stall next to Ray Bourque for a season, but in any case, Drury is the guy the Rangers need to turn to.