I feel like I may be slightly desecrating the domain of the Thackalanche by filling it with the likes of Sean Avery-ness, but this stuff is just too good to pass up. After meeting with commissioner Gary Bettman last night, Avery issued a formal apology. And by formal, I mean scripted and probably the byproduct of a Bettman threat for a severe suspension if Avery didn't dish out some serious restitution.
The "apology" went like this:
"I would like to sincerely apologize for my off-color remarks to the press yesterday from Calgary. I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate.
"It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actions were. I caused unnecessary embarrassment to my peers as well as people I have been close with in the past.
"I apologize for offending the great fans of the NHL, the commissioner, my teammates, my coaching staff and the Dallas Stars management and ownership. As many of you know, I like to mix it up on and off the ice from time to time, but understand that this time I took it too far."
Awww, thanks Sean. I imagine he'll be well-behaved for a month or so, before he hatches his next diabolical scheme to get himself some airtime. Because if Sean Avery cares about one person on this earth, it's Sean Avery.
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